Life Without

Ok, not gonna lie, sometimes I miss Prime. I preordered a book from Bookshop and that’s fine but I’m dying to read it and I figured it would be here by Thursday and the shipping confirmation says next Monday. I’ve been planning my week around reading that book. LOL That’s what bookish people do!  But I’ve also recently noticed that none of my Kindle purchases show up instantly anymore. My KU books do, but not my purchases. So yeah, Amazon really treats you as a second class citizen when you don’t do their program. 

It’s all fine. I am going to the theater tonight anyway and won’t be reading. And this is just a note to myself that I don’t need to be purchasing a ton of Kindle books anyway. I already probably have way more than I will read in my lifetime. I’ve kept my KU subscription and there are actually a bunch of books in there that I’d like to try. So for the price and my usage, I’m ok with keeping it, for now.

I’ve done pretty well on buying more locally and not on Amazon. In 2024, I had 83 orders placed, not counting digital. In 2025, it was 37. And so far this year, I’ve made 6 orders. I don’t think I will need to buy anything else on Amazon this year. I’m not traveling, and have pretty much stocked up on all the things I like to buy there (and can’t find equivalent locally). I buy Christmas presents locally now. 

My digital orders have also fallen, but not by much. They still hover around the 50/year range. That’s books, movie purchases and rentals, etc. I’ll try to knock that down. It’s the impulses that kill me. There are a few authors I only buy on Kindle and those I will probably keep up with, but that’s maybe a quarter of my purchases. 

So I miss the instant gratification, but I’m doing fine without it. I will survive if I don’t get to read my new book as planned. And it’s money saved, aaaaassssssss long as I don’t spend it somewhere else. :)

Waiting, Waiting

Yesterday's rain storm has me craving fall. I yearn for the cool days and fallings leaves. It was cool this morning so I got to open some windows for much needed fresh air. I know fall will come and I'm so looking forward to it. So I guess this is my annual post about what I want to do when it comes. 

First, I will say that I'm going to the famer's market one more time and I am trying to enjoy the end of summer. I haven't had fresh corn on the cob yet so that's a must do. I think I'm going to make corn salsa this weekend. My flip flop wreath gets to hang on the door for another 2 weeks. There's also the library book sale coming up, so I'm not quite done with August. 

But I'm already getting down with fall vibes. I mean, if people have started decorating for Halloween, I can surely get out my candles. I'm switching out my bedding for a change as well. It's not for warmth, because I still don't need that, but its a nice change anyway. I'll wait for September before I get the fall decor out. It's like 3 things. LOL

Besides the candles, I have started putting on the fall vibes when I put on ambient sounds in the background. I've made a list of books that would be fun to read in the coming months. I'm thinking about soup. There's a summer corn chowder recipe I want to make for the first soup of the season and then I've got a list of my favorites. I love soup and all the different flavors you can make. It's both tasty and comforting and can be very healthy. Since I'm not eating butter right now, I don't know that I'm going to be making much bread, but maybe I can find a substitute that I like. 

It will come and I'll be ready when it does.

Things to Think About

We had a great speaker in sacrament meeting yesterday. I don’t know her well, mostly just know who she is. I really could do a much better job of welcoming people and saying “hi”, even with the introvert me urging caution. 

Anyway, she referenced a book I had thought about reading, and then didn’t (because I decided to ignore my questions and basically hide my head in the sand, even though they don’t really go away) but now have purchased and started reading. 

Her talk was about her daughter being lgbtq+ and her struggles to remain in a church that judges instead of loves, and also how to foster a sense of belonging and listening instead of judging. It was just so good and really taught me some stuff. I can do better for sure. 

Mostly I know that I’m not alone in my questions and that I’m ok right now as I struggle through some things. Just this morning before church I was thinking (again) how I probably wouldn’t be going if I wasn’t playing the piano in Primary and had something to do there. I just show up because I’m not ready to quit. I realized today that just showing up is ok right now if that’s all I can do. Eventually, I probably need to work through a few things, but for now I’m ok with the space I am in. 

I really can and need to do better at loving instead of judging. And while I get stuck in a rut thinking it has to be in my ward, it doesn’t have to be. That’s only one space that I am in. There are others. I could even love in multiple spaces at the same time. 

I spent the rest of the day with lots to think about and this is one Sunday, I’m glad I was there.

Another Sunday in May

We’ve got a storm moving in. Right now it’s a bit windy outside. Wind not being my favorite thing, I have my noise canceling headphones on with some instrumental music playing. Not sure if we’ll get any rain out of it, but that would be nice. The temperature dropped so I am having a cup of cocoa as I get ready to read in my library. It’s a nice, relaxing Sunday afternoon. 

I really need to be not lazy this week when I’m not at work. I’ve got to get some stuff done around my house and I have a few small projects. Like very small and I need to just do them. LOL That’s the goal for this week. I’m only at work 4 days and then having a 4 day weekend, since Memorial Day is coming. It’s the end of spring and transitioning into summer. I do love the change of seasons. 

Yesterday, I took my niece to her soccer game since her parents were out of town. My sister and the twins met us there. Then we went to eat at Iceberg diner and to this month’s indie bookstore: The Hollow, located in Syracuse. It’s a cute little store that just opened up about a month ago. I bought 2 books for myself and 1 for my niece. I didn’t think she was much of a reader, but she said she’s recently read some books she likes. Her birthday is coming up and she said she’d love a trip to Barnes & Noble. LOL She doesn’t need to ask twice. I’ll take her for sure. 

Still trying to decide what my summer vacation is going to be. I’m absolutely fine heading to Cedar City but trying to decide if somewhere else is on the horizon. I decided against any trips with a tour and think I’ll just stay closer to home and spend less money. Prices being what they are, it doesn’t hurt to get my savings account stacked a little more in case of hard times or things breaking. 

But for now, I’m going to go read and take some time out of this world for a different one in a book. 

Random February Thoughts

How is February almost over? I know it’s shorter, but still. I have definitely enjoyed being cozy through the dark months and am getting to the point where I can welcome spring. I hope it’s a rainy one, since we didn’t really get a winter and need the water. Rainy days can be cozy as well. Plus, spring brings flowers. 

I’m going to put away some of my electric candles once the batteries run out. I’ve decided to leave 2 of them out, but will turn off the timer. I have my scented wax warmers on all year, so there’s no reason why I can’t have a candle on here or there. And when the summer gets really hot and bothersome, I’ll just close the blinds, turn on candles, and put a rainy autumn day ASMR scene on the tv!

I’ve been doing a bit of reading this year. Twenty books and over 4,310 pages in the 2 months. I think I will take a bit of a break (or at least read only one book at a time) for a little bit and try and finish some craft projects and maybe catch up on some podcasts or something. I need to get some more walking in as well, although with water aerobics, I’m not feeling quite as much pressure to get out. The warmer, longer days will help that though. Leaving the house for 1.5 hours 2 days a week makes me feel a little bit like I’ve lost some time at home. And technically, I have, but it’s still “me” time and it's doing me a world of good. It feels good to move my body, and talk to people besides my family and co-workers. Plus, I love being in the water, and so far, the chlorine is not bothering me or making my skin or hair drier. I’ve got a routine down now. 

Last week was a high sugar week, with the birthday, so I’m trying to get back on the less sugar eating plan. It’s hard since I’m addicted to the sweet stuff, but I’ll keep going. I am sneaking in one more gift to myself before the end of the month, but then birthday shopping is over and done for the year. And I have too much stuff as it is. LOL Maybe March will be a clean-out-the-closets month.

Monday, Monday

My favorite food blogger posted a recipe for summer corn chowder using fresh corn and since I’m impatiently waiting for soup weather, I decided to make it. The forecast is calling for rain over the next few days. That’s cooler weather, at least?  The soup was delicious and now I have a bunch of soup in my freezer. I do love to make and eat soup. And I also want more corn just to eat. I will probably be making another trip to the stand on the side of the road. 

Also, my face is killing me. I don’t want to go back to the same endodontist, but I think I might find a different one for a second opinion. I’ve talked to my regular doctor and he gave me an antibiotic to see if we could get rid of a sinus infection, but it’s not getting rid of anything. It goes in waves and I’m ok until the really intense pain and then I just sit there until it leaves and then I feel kind of yucky but better. I can’t live like this though. I have plans for the rest of the year and they don’t involve lying on my couch in pain over something that might be a relatively simple fix. 

Sitting in the Sun

It’s Sunday and I’m sitting in my favorite place to be on a Sunday early afternoon: my library. The tree outside my window is a mixture of green and yellow and the tree next to it has already dropped all its leaves so the sun is coming inside. My plants are loving it and I’m eating it up as well. I’m trying to absorb all I can. I don’t get seasonal depression, but I definitely feel it sometimes that I’m not getting all the light I probably should be, as I go from home to office to home again in the dark. 

I’ve seen a few people with Christmas decorations already up and one of the radio stations is playing Christmas music 24/7. It’s still a little early for me for that, but I’m actually feeling quite positive about the holidays this year. I’m looking forward to them. If this stays with me, I’ll probably even put up my Christmas tree this year. I have this week for work and then I’m on vacation the entire week of Thanksgiving and am looking forward to it for sure. 

I’ve got 5 books left to read to meet my reading goal (and 2 books to read the # of books for the goal) and I’m feeling pretty good about it. There are 7 weeks left in the year and I’m halfway done with a book that counts towards the 5. The goal started out pretty fun, and I’ve been pretty happy with the books I’ve read because of it, but it has made me feel a few times that I couldn’t read what I wanted to, or that I had to read something else to stay on track. So I’m playing around with the idea for next year that I read one of the old classics or massive historical-fiction tomes sitting on my shelf and leave it at that. Just have a free for all and not really care what I read. Sometimes that makes me more adventurous, sometimes not. I’ll see what I feel like as 2024 gets closer. This year I found a new non-fiction writer that I want to read more of for sure. 

April Odds and Ends

I had a really nice weekend. It rained Friday and Saturday morning, but it turned out to be really nice. On Saturday I went with my sisters to my local library where they were giving out packets of ladybugs for earth day. The twins love ladybugs and my nephew Owen, went through a huge bug phase one summer and still likes them. A local aquarium brought some exhibits and let the kids touch a snake and see some baby sharks swimming. It was kind of fun.

 

My flowers outside are starting to bloom and I was so pleasantly surprised when I saw that my new succulent already shot up a bloom. I was not expecting that at all. I can't wait for it to open.

I have been borrowing books from the library again which is kind of nice. I felt like I had spent less money on books so far this year, and it’s possible, but I have still bought quite a few. 10 paper books and 12 kindle. Only 3 of the 10 paper books were actually new to me. I had already read and decided to buy the other 7, mostly because the paperback version was released. And a few of the 12 kindle books were free, I picked them up on a deal. So I’m probably really not spending less money on books, it just feels like it. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing as much impulse book buying after reading reviews. I’ve been checking the library first and waiting for sales. And that is because unless I start reading it right then, it will just stay in the pile of unread books and right now I just don’t want that. I have too many of those as it is. Of course, I’m still spending a lot of reading time on Webtoons and Tapas. That’s not going away.

Silent Night

Last night as I wasn't sleeping, I opened up the blinds and then opened the window and watched it snow for a bit. It was so peaceful. It was almost 2:00 am so there were no tracks in the snow and only the occasional sound of a car on the usually busy street a few blocks over. Even if I wasn't sleeping and wished I was, it was a really lovely night to be looking out the window. 

It's September. Finally!

I’m ready. So ready for fall. The temps are in the 80’s this week and I’m waiting for them to go lower and lower. I’m ready to wear long sleeve shirts, walk in the leaves, and drink copious amounts of hot chocolate. I made a list of books and webtoons that seem great for the darker nights and cooler weather. I want to eat soup and bread. In short, I’m going to hibernate like I always try to do. It’s a good year to hibernate seeing how we aren’t over the pandemic by a long shot.

Cars and Decisions

I read this thing in a book, that said something like the coin toss doesn’t lie. Used to make decisions, you have a split second of either Yes! That’s what I want or Oh! I don’t think so types of feelings and then you know what to do.

I had one of those moments last week. I’ve been laughing for a year now that the next big thing to break would be the last straw and I’d be getting a new car. Then my car died on the way home from work. I realized right there that I absolutely did not want to make my car buying decision on the spur of the moment and I actually wasn’t ready to get a new car. My sis and bro-in-law helped me get it towed to a mechanic so they could tell me what was wrong. As I was waiting, the amount I was willing to spend to get it fixed kept increasing. Turns out, I needed a new fuel pump and $1297.00 later my car is up and running again with just the normal weird sounds its been making for a year. It’s not really a good time to buy a car right now; there are still problems lingering from the pandemic. Plus, I’d like to get one more year out of it if I can.  I have a plan in place now for when I do buy a new car. Hopefully, it doesn’t have to happen at a moment’s notice. I already have money saved up for a nice down payment on something fairly new, so that will keep increasing while I wait. I have a few ideas of what I want to test drive, and I have a payment calculator app on my phone. LOL I’m ready now. I still don’t want to do it yet, but this experience showed me how I really feel. That little Mazda and I have been through a lot over the years. 

Salt?

Sometime in the middle of quarantine in 2020 I watched the show Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat on Netflix and I’ve been thinking about salt ever since. 

Here are 2 things about me:

1. I don’t like to cook. I’m awful at throwing things together and almost always fail if I don’t have a recipe to follow. I feel fortunate that I don’t have a family to feed and can get away with popcorn or cold cereal for dinner some nights. Having to cook for a living would be the most awful job I can think of. 

2. I cook anyway. Mostly from scratch because I like to know what I’m putting into my body. I avoid boxed and premade foods almost entirely. I will admit that when I cook something that tastes good and is good for me it makes me happy and I enjoy that feeling. Luckily, I’ve learned to eat leftovers so I don’t have to cook every day.

But back to salt… When my dad’s kidney failed and he went on dialysis, he had to cut sodium completely from his diet. My parents were empty nesters by that time but the whole family kind of went along with it when we had family dinners. The food we brought or mom made just didn’t have salt, or very little. It was a big switch at first. That first year when mom didn’t add salt to Grandma’s roll recipe we all mutinied and said the rolls must have salt! But you get used to it and I cut a lot of salt from my diet as well, even when I was by myself. I figured I was still getting plenty anyway and it was probably better for me. Since dad’s been gone, I have added some salt back into things but I think I still eat a lot less than average Americans. I usually don’t add the full amount called for in recipes and I don’t do the extra things like salt my pasta water. I never add salt at the table unless it’s mashed potatoes or popcorn.

I’ve been thinking about it though. Yeah, sometimes I make some tasty stuff, but it could be because those recipes had the right amount of salt or fat or whatever to make them taste good the way they were written.

I borrowed Samin Nosrat’s book from the library. The Netflix show was based on the book. I’m reading about things that can improve my cooking. So the other day I put salt in some ground beef I was cooking for enchiladas. It wasn’t even a lot, but wouldn’t you know, I swear the meat tasted…meatier. Now I’m thinking about trying it again with something else. Maybe I’ll salt the pasta water!  LOL

I still feel that I don’t need to add tons of salt back into my cooking, but maybe I can learn to add some where it counts to get good tasting food that is still healthy. Plus, if healthy eating is what I’m after, I need to look at sugar intake instead of salt.

Anyway, yeah I think I might buy myself some different types of salt this year and maybe improve my cooking skills. I’m still not gonna like doing it, but tasty results will make me feel better that I did it anyway.

 

A Small Change and Random Thoughts

So ever since my vacation I have pretty much had vacation hair. I mean, you plan to when you are on vacation. I don't ever take my "normal" things to do my hair on vacation. It's basically wash and go. When I had to quarantine for 2 weeks after I got back, there was no reason to do anything with my hair. And I've been doing nothing with it ever since. It feels kind of good and I am thinking I may keep doing it. My hair is naturally wavy and rather than blowing it dry, I've been drying my bangs so I can get them to fall the right way (and sometimes still using the flat iron) and maybe the top of my head a bit. And I'm spraying on a little leave in conditioner or wavy styling product and letting it go. They gray has definitely shown up and I'm not even bothering to cover it up either. Before, I was covering all the little gray spots as I waited for my next hair appointment. It's kind of freeing, really.  I'm thinking I'm still going to get it colored when I go back to the hair salon because I like the color. I'm just not going to stress about it as it grows out. I rather like the low maintenance hair style (let's face it, I wasn't actually high maintenance before) so yeah, I think I may keep it.

As for other things that make me happy, I started following some historic and old homes people on Instagram. I love old houses. Then I read a book with a cat in it and started thinking about cats and houses.  LOL - if this virus doesn't stop soon I may do something drastic. I do not need an old house, and I definitely do not need a cat.

It was my sister-in-law's birthday last week so we gave her a "heart attack". My other sister and niece did the banner and a few hearts and I did more hearts and wrote some messages on them. Then I drove to their house at 6:00 am and stuck them to the windows and doors. It was kind of fun and she was definitely surprised.

General Conference Thoughts

This was general conference weekend and we all participated in our own homes as the pandemic is still ongoing.
I just have some thoughts I wanted to get out.

First off, I was thinking about a news article I recently read that was about churches trying to get an “essential” exception because it’s vital that people can continue to worship. I happen to agree that people need to continue to worship, but I would argue that it still has to be distant from each other to slow the spread of COVID-19. Which just makes me grateful for my church and the prophet and the inspiration to make us more home centered. This is our 2nd year of Come Follow Me and even though we aren’t together (and I do miss the being together) we are still studying the same things worldwide.  I do miss the Sunday worship, but as I have been trying to make my sabbath day different from the rest of my week, having my own little devotional, I have had some good time to focus on some things like stories in the Book of Mormon and of course on Jesus Christ, and I have to admit that it’s been good for me and I have grown because of it.
And then of course, there is conference weekend. I never did go to Salt Lake to see it live, so in my own house is normal (although I miss being with my family). I can’t help think how we are being guided if we listen to the prophet. I don’t know if he foresaw this exact pandemic, but President Nelson (and many of the apostles) have taught many things that have helped me personally. Even just with food storage and savings. Also, they have said this is temporary. The temples are closed and I can’t help but think that they won’t stay closed for long as there is still a lot of work to be done. As they announced 8 new temples, I have confidence that we will get through the pandemic and get back to normal. Or at least normal with a bit more gratitude and lessons learned to make us better people.

Which brings me to myself and the things I need to do and I’m refocusing on things that are important. My recommend expired at the end of March and we weren’t going to church for me to get it renewed. I should probably contact my bishop anyway to see if it’s possible right now. The prophet called for a worldwide fast on the last Sunday of March (29) and now he has called for another one this coming Friday on Good Friday. I participated in the last one and I must admit it was the first time in a while that I had seriously fasted. I don’t know what good it did the world, but I know it did me so much good. The renewal I felt was absolutely worth it. So with faith, I will participate in this next one.

Things I have gotten out of conference: I need to put some effort into my religion. I need to go to the temple. I need to remember I can’t do everything at once, but it shouldn’t stop me from doing the one thing I need to do at that moment and I should seek the help of the spirit to decide what that one thing is for today. And after this pandemic is over, there is still so, so much in the world that is wrong and has to be faced and good people everywhere (and me personally) need to do our part. And it’s ok that I am not perfect (not even close) and I have to keep trying.

I loved the one of the first songs from the choir. They sang It is Well With My Soul and I don’t remember the first time the they sang it but man, it was powerful to me this time.

And wow! A temple in China! And Dubai! The work is going forward and I want to be part of it, even if it’s just in my own circle and sphere of influence.

Febrary Odds and Ends

It’s February so birthday shopping month can officially begin. I want to get it done early since I scheduled my (hopefully) last oral surgery for 3 days after my actual birthday and then I’m going to be miserable and won’t be able to eat anything. I’ve decided on 3 or 4 places to donate some money and then I think I’m going to buy myself a new bed. It’s time for the old one to go. I think I’m going to go to a few bookstores with my niece also. I’ve already gotten myself a few puzzles. The bed is kind of major so I don’t know that I’ll do too much more but that is definitely plenty.

In other news, after my trip last December I decided I needed a change in my hairstyle. I didn’t want anything drastic but still wanted it to be enough different that it was a change. So I grew my bangs longer, then had my stylist cut more bangs so they go back a little bit farther. LOL – that was a bit of a shock to get used to, even though it was what I wanted. Then I kept the layers and cut it back to shoulder length. There has been some growing pains trying to figure out how to style my bangs but I’m happy with the change. On days like today where everything worked and I like the way it looks, I’m so happy I went with it. I have had a few complements, but I like it and that’s what matters to me.

Fall is Here

Yay! It’s officially fall. Even though it is still in the 80’s and everything is dry and we’re still on fire, it will get better. I’m praying for rain. We need it. Plus, it won’t feel like fall until it gets cooler and a little wetter. I’m dying to get outside to walk on my lunch breaks though. It’s almost cool enough.  I’ve got some books lined up for October. :) I’m going to savor this time of year. I’ve been trying to cut back on the sugar so I’m trying to decide what to do about my hot cocoa drinking. Maybe I can find something decent tasting with less sugar in it. Or I’ll get my favorite kind and not drink it as often. Decisions, decisions....

Living In The Moment

Not very long ago I was listening to a podcast…and I can’t remember which one. It was about traveling. They were talking about taking photos and how sometimes you should just put the camera down and be there in the moment instead of trying to take the perfect picture. I didn’t think much of it because I usually snap the pictures and put the camera down because I am not a very good photographer. But then I thought about how sometimes I look at a place and think about the picture it could be and even I can get caught up in the picture instead of the moment.

Anyway, on Saturday when I was in Yellowstone, I saw this concept in action. We made it back from our geyser walk just in time to see Old Faithful erupt. We were to the side and had a great view and did not have to be packed into the main crowd. Everybody was standing there with their phones up and ready. Once it erupted, I took a few pictures and then put my phone in my pocket. We watched for a bit and then started to walk away and I noticed that almost everybody was watching the geyser erupt through the screen on their phone. What? We were watching this amazing part of the earth and they saw it through a lens instead of being there watching it live. Some of them were using the video function and just held their phone and looked around it but I still seems like they were not really focusing on what was happening and instead on getting it recorded.

My goal is to make sure I see things and enjoy them in the moment. There is nothing wrong with taking the picture, but I need to make sure that’s not all I’m doing. I still remember my trip to the Louvre and how there are only a few things where I stopped and actually saw them. The rest of the time I was snapping pictures. If I ever get the chance to go back, I will remember to leave the camera in my bag.