Happy Memorial Day

I’ve had a 4 day weekend because I took Friday off work. It’s been really nice. It’s getting hot and summer is on the horizon. My 5 year old nephew needed surgery on his hip and is in a cast and wheelchair for 5 weeks. On Friday I took the kids Happy Meals while my sister and I had Chipotle. Then on Saturday I invited them to Wellsville with me to take flowers to Grandma Walters’ grave. We did a micro-adventure with the wheelchair. It turned out pretty well. A lot of in and out when we stopped. 

One of the stops was a nursery/greenhouse in Logan that I had never been to. I was only going to buy 1 plant. It’s a beautiful little thing that looks similar to a shamrock plant, but the leaves are purple and it has little white flowers on it. But then I saw these pre-made floral baskets and they were on sale. Ha ha ha 

Mine is a moss “purse” with grapevine handles and flowers growing out of it. I put it outside in my flower garden. I love it. 

We did our cemetery visit yesterday. My brother is out of town this weekend and some of the kids worked today. It was nice and not so crowded, which was good for the wheelchair. But then today I was at the grocery store and bought one more mum. We discovered that great-great grandpa Hull is buried in the Ogden cemetery, which is not far from my house. I just felt like I should take the mums to him. He died in 1965 so I don’t really know much about him. But this is the big day to celebrate ancestors (and yes, I know it’s actually to celebrate our service men and women) so I figured it would be the thing to do.

I think I’ll spend the rest of the day reading and doing laundry and things around the house. Then I’ll be ready and relaxed and can go back to work tomorrow. 

Let It Go

Grrrr, I’m so annoyed. Mostly with myself. Over the past 2 months I’ve had terrible pain in my teeth, jaw and side of my head. The only reason I chose to go to the dentist is because I wasn’t sick and didn’t have any sinus problems. And I don’t have allergies. They told me I probably needed a root canal and gave me a referral and then gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and said that would help with the pain in the meantime. And it did help. So yesterday when I went to the endodontist he said my tooth is fine. It’s not abscessed and I didn’t need a root canal. He also said if it was the tooth, then the antibiotic wouldn’t actually help. Which is fine. I didn’t want a root canal. But I have a hard time believing it’s only sinus when I have no other issues. And I still have a dull ache over that tooth. Ha ha I’m trying to let it go but I’m annoyed. I’ve decided this is just the next thing to ache in my ever more weird/changing peri-menopausal  body.  

To top it off, we had a major issue come up at work and I didn’t check back in after my appointment and crap really blew up. So I also didn’t know about a 6:30 am meeting and didn’t join. They have probably left me alone thinking I don’t feel well and I just didn’t want to jump into the middle of things that I don’t really know how to fix anyway. So I feel a little bit guilty. I mean my boss has been working on her vacation. And I feel a lot like I don’t care. 

Yep, I think I’m back in the being depressed and not caring about life cycle. At least in regards to work. I’m still doing stuff during my non-work life. And the family stuff I’m doing because I want to. The church stuff I’m doing because I said I would and can’t wait for it to be over. LOL yeah I’m kind of a mess. 

It’s been raining today though and I’m at home. I got to go eat school lunch with the twins and the rain has been good for my soul. My sister and I walked to the school with umbrellas and it was wonderful. So I’m going to let go of the annoyance and guilt and enjoy the rest of this perfectly wonderful rainy day.

Middle of May

Time is flying. I have a ton of things I'm trying to do or get done or places to be within the next 30 days and I feel like summer is half over before we've even gotten to it. 

Time to slow down for a minute. We had family dinner yesterday and I had the 19 year old and the 6 year old help me make the vegetable tray.

Ha ha it doesn't quite look like the picture on Pinterest but we'll take it. Plus, I had to use veggies and things that my family will actually eat. I'm happy to say that I only threw away a couple pieces of celery. The rest was quickly eaten. 

Up this week: root canal. I don't want it, but if it takes away the pain I will take it. Although there is no pain currently because of the antibiotic. But there was a lot of pain. And then it's camp, camp, camp until camp is over. Ug. I know it will be ok, but once again I'm not looking forward to it. 

Lady Bugs & Bookstores

Well, I made it to Saturday. It’s been a really good day.  I met my sister and the twins at the library this morning. They were doing their annual lady bug give away for Earth Day. This year they even gave me my own packet of lady bugs. I also got to switch my library card from a really old one to a new one that is blue and has lady bugs on it. Then I came home and watered my flower garden, which is mostly still dirt right now and put my lady bugs in it. I have a couple perennial plants that are starting to bloom but that’s all. Hopefully some of the lady bugs stayed. It’s still fun. In a few more weeks, I will be able to plant some  annuals and some coleuses. 

Then I headed down south to watch another niece in her soccer game. It’s windy today, but it was still warm enough and it felt really good to be outside in the sun. I’m trying to appreciate this and enjoy it before it gets too hot. Amy and the twins met me down there and we went to lunch afterwards. 

Then because it’s indie bookstore day, I went to a bookstore I’ve never been to in Bountiful. Since I was over half way there for the soccer game, I thought it would be fun to go. It’s called The Book Garden. I found 3 Georgette Heyer books that I don’t have. I’ve been collecting them, but I like the old covers and these 3 were perfect. I also found a small journal that is the same type as one I already have and am using for a travel journal. I’ve almost used it up and was so excited to find this one. It’s got a different cover (both are floral) but same publisher and you can tell they go together. 

Honestly, I did’t know Utah had so many indie bookstores. Now that I’m not buying books at Amazon (print ones anyway) it’s nice to know I have a lot of choices, besides Barnes and Noble. We even have 2 romance only bookstores and one is in Salt Lake. I just didn’t want to go all the way down there today. I’ll get to it soon, I hope. 

So yeah, it’s been a fun day. I did all my cleaning and chores earlier so I could come home and not have to worry about it. The other thing I’ve been doing is that I started a gratitude journal. I have a cute little notebook with books and bookish quotes in it, but it’s not really the right size for journaling or for work so I am now using it to write 1 thing I am grateful for everyday. Or 1 way that I saw God in the details of my life. I’m only about 5 days into it but it really is helping my mental self focus on good things. Or at least be aware that they are there in spite of stressful days at work. 

Stressed

I had a fantastic Monday off work. It was a beautiful morning for a walk. The rest of the day was nice and relaxing as well. 

Then Tuesday and back to work came. I was fine most of the day. My supervisor had tried to help with some of the onboarding tickets coming in, which was really great of her. But by afternoon, I was so tired of all the stupid things people keep doing and the issues that I don’t know how to fix. I had a little mini melt down. Luckily, I was working from home today. I seriously need to take some deep breaths and just walk away or something when I start spiraling. It was almost the end of the day anyway, so I shut my computer down and started cleaning my house and then I made dinner, did the dishes, and just generally got my house in order. If feels good to have done that. And then before I came upstairs to get ready for bed, I did a quick calming yoga session and just breathed in and out and stretched my neck and back. Both are so tight right now. 

So I think I’m going to do this one day at a time. Tomorrow I will take some deep breaths and deal with the tickets on my own time and terms. I can put myself on “do not disturb” for the whole day if I have to. And my sisters and I are already doing another walking challenge for the summer so I’m starting to get out again, but I think I’m going to add some yoga on the days I’m not walking. I need to do something else and I need the stretching. I need to take a few more breaks during the day to stand and stretch as well. 

All I know is that I can’t go on like this. It’s not good for my physical or mental health, but it’s also my job right now. I know it will get better. It’s just getting to that point. 

Good Friday

It’s Good Friday and Easter weekend. My company used to give this day as a holiday and until last year, my office still did. This year they gave us a floating holiday so I’m working, but it’s really, really slow. Lots of people are off. And oddly enough, I’m taking my holiday on Monday instead. We’ve just wrapped up a big project and a month of extra support after the go-live. I had originally planned on Monday off because I needed a break. I’m not as stressed about work right now, but decided to keep the day off. I should celebrate and recalibrate. 

I’ve been reading books from the library lately. It’s kind of nice. The library had a few of the books on my buy list so I borrowed them instead. Or put them on hold. If I love them, I can consider buying later. Checking the library first is a habit I need to work on, but I’m getting better at it. I have spent a little money lately on a few products that I already love. And I just bought myself 2 small bottles of perfume. I’m calling that my reward for making it through go-live. 

Actually, I’ve spent a bunch of money recently, but some of it will be repaid to me. My sisters and I have a trip planned to Cedar City this summer. We are going back to the Shakespeare Festival, but this year we’re taking an extra day and having some fun. Plus, with the amount of people going, we decided to rent an Airbnb. It’s going to be fun. I’m pretty excited about it. But I just bought the theater tickets. With the amount of people going to the theater, this year I bought the cheaper seats. We will still be able to see everything just fine. LOL I’m slowly learning to be frugal. I haven’t had to be frugal for so long that it’s a bit of a change. But just because I don’t have to be doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to be. 

I still miss mom a lot on the holidays but I’m learning that they can still be good, just not like they used to be.

 

Conference Weekend

It was a really nice weekend. I got out on Saturday for a bit with my niece and a few nephews. We went to the reptile expo and then to lunch. 

Then on Sunday I stayed home and listened to general conference and cooked. I've filled back up my freezer with leftovers for other meals. I also made cheesy no-knead peasant bread. I cooked it in a loaf pan because it's easier to cut. It is so delicious. I might have cut off both ends and eaten them first while it was still warm out of the oven. 

 

I'm going through a period where I don't really love my job. It's fine and I know it won't last forever, feeling this way. And I'm grateful to have a steady job that pays me well. Even when I do love my job, there are pieces that aren't my favorite. I'm just doing of lot of those pieces right now. It makes Mondays worse though. LOL I'm taking a little bit of time off on Wednesday afternoon and I'm going to recharge. Go for a walk and wash my car. Maybe head to the bookstore. 

And after listening to conference, I think... ha  ha no, I know.. I've let my oil run out, my lamp is too low... I don't know all the metaphors. I need to do something about that as well.