One Week Back

So I went back to work this week and it was nice to be on a schedule. Helps things feel a little more normal, even though there’s a big, gaping hole in my life. It was good to work. Still not sure how I’m really feeling. I think I’m finally starting to actually miss her. Not that I wasn’t before, but I didn’t see or talk to her every day so it’s normal to go for a few days without talking to her. Then it hits me again. And our family chat is silent now. I miss all her silly comments. 

We had a call with an estate lawyer today and I have an appointment set up to go into his office next week.  So the ball is rolling on that one. Tomorrow we will do some more cleaning out of the house. This is life now and how most of my weekends will be for a little bit until the house is empty. 

Cleaning out the House

Well, the funeral service for my mom was nice. I think she would have been happy with it. The chapel was full with friends and family. Myers Mortuary really has the process down and they ran everything so smoothly. It was so nice to be taken care of so well. It was not a large crowd at the luncheon but plenty of family there and it was nice to just talk to a lot of them. We really need to try and meet again somewhere other than funerals. 

I expected to be numb on Friday but was actually antsy and wanted to do something. So I did the project I had been thinking about to turn my spare bedroom/office into just an office. My sister and nephew helped get the bed out of there (it went to my sister’s house) and then I took one of mom’s chairs. I’ve got one more small table type of thing ordered, which is going to be a plant stand of sorts. And I started cleaning out the closet and bins that were stored under the bed. I’ve still got some sorting to do, but it feels good to have started. 

Today we all met at mom’s house to start cleaning out the food and food storage. We cleaned out so much from the old house before they moved here, but I cannot believe what she was storing. We threw a lot of stuff away. It was open and some of the grains we didn’t even know what they were. I have a bunch of her home canned food now. I’m trying to be intentional in the stuff I take from her home. I don’t need more stuff just because it’s nice or was hers. Ha ha I talked myself out of some bread pans and when I got home,  I found they were the same as what I have. So I need to be careful and remember I’m trying to clean out my house as well. We still have a really long way to go, but it was nice to all be there working together as a family. 

So I have a lot of pasta and fruit and vegetables to eat up now. I’ve eaten out too much these last 2 weeks so I think it will be nice to start cooking again. I think I can eat pretty healthy with all the food I now have (including what I had before) and just shopping for a few fresh things when I need them. For sure, I will be meal planning around what I have in the pantry. 

Today

Well, birthday shopping month has not turned out like I had planned. My mom died on February 14 due to liver failure. She basically went to sleep and never woke up. We had moved her to a hospital down in Murray and they evaluated her and told us they couldn’t do a liver transplant. We thought we would be able to move her to a care center with hospice like we did for my dad, but the doctor said it would be minutes to hours before she died once we stopped the medication keeping her heart beating. It was about 3 hours, I think. It’s been rough.

My birthday was a few days later and I just really didn’t want to celebrate but I decided to have the family over for cake and ice cream since the kids like that. It was nice, although a hard day. I do not feel like book shopping right now though I know one day I will get back to it. 

I took this entire week off from work. The funeral is on Thursday and we’ve got everything planned and ready to go. So today I didn’t have anything much to do. I decided to have a day for myself. I slept in and went to the grocery store. I think I’ll go for a walk in a little bit, even though it’s raining and drizzly. Still my favorite kind of weather. Some friends/neighbors brought me dinner last night and it’s so much food, I have enough for a few days. Shepherds Pie and brownies. It is so yummy, and a wonderful comfort food. 

I bought myself leftover Valentine’s flowers at the grocery store. They are so bright and pretty. Truly, joy can be found in the hard times. 

We started cleaning out mom’s house already, mostly for something to do, plus it will need to be sold before we can pay the medical bills. Right now I really don’t want to buy anything ever again. LOL When I think about all the stuff my mom has in that little house and I think about someone cleaning out my own little house, I think I want to be a little more circumspect and buy less stuff. And that fits right along with the theme for this year. It really hits home now though. 

Birthday Shopping Month 2024 Edition

Well, so far I was doing ok with the not spending money thing. I made it through January. Kind of. I went on a Georgette Heyer used book buying spree and ended up with 5 books.

But now it's birthday shopping month and I bought myself some presents already. 😇  I got myself 2 different 3-month subscription boxes. The first one is a "pamper yourself" type of book box and the other is body care/scent. Both things I love. I have a small list of things I'm out of cosmetic-wise that I'll be buying. And I will be going on a book browsing trip near my actual birthday. I've already pre-ordered the 2 books out this month that are must buys. So we'll see what happens with the book browsing. I'm sure I'll find something, but I'm trying to call that good. I'm still in the mood to not have a bunch of crap in my house and have another pile of things to donate. I'll make that a month goal as well, to get it out of my house. 

I also booked a mini vacation to San Diego in March, but that is up in the air now. My mom wanted to go and since she is not feeling well, I think we may be pushing that one out a little bit. Maybe we can go for her birthday this fall. We are waiting to see what the doctor says later today. I think I've pretty much decided that even if we don't go, I'm still taking the days off. 😊 I have plenty of vacation and it's already in my head that I won't be working. 

Life is good and hectic and fast and slow and just life. I'm happy to complete another rotation LOL.

Random Thoughts

It was a crazy weekend. It's almost nice to be back to work. 

I remember back in 2020 when I decided that I was not going to survive the pandemic without Dr. Pepper. LOL so melodramatic. But it started 3 years of drinking soda whenever I wanted. I dislike diet soda. I drink Dr. Pepper because it’s cold, sweet, and carbonated. I did try a few zero sugar variations of different sodas and they all seem to leave a bad aftertaste in my mouth. The problem is that it sneaks up on me and before I know it I’m drinking a lot more than I want to without even enjoying it. So I decided to go back to my old rule of soda on holidays, birthdays, and a few special occasions. That way I’m not telling myself none ever, but limiting because I don’t need to be drinking it all the time. 

I think between Christmas and New Year’s I drank so much Dr. Pepper I was sick of it and I was only drinking it out of habit. I would probably say Jan 2 and 3 were a little bit hard because I was used to getting one at work in the afternoon. And then I kind of forgot about it. Since then, it’s been easy. Part of the easy is probably because I haven’t been out and about much, with the snow storms and cold weather. I haven’t been tempted to stop anywhere. I had my soda for the MLK holiday and it was nice, but I didn’t feel like I really needed it. Then I had some this past weekend. My mom was in the hospital and I was a little stressed and had stopped somewhere for lunch and told myself I could have one. Ha ha it burned going down. So right now I’m not even missing it. Maybe when it gets hot, I will? I'm not sure if I've noticed any positive side affects from not drinking soda. I have too many other bad food habits. But in my mind, I feel better.

Even though it's definitely still winter, I feel like now I am past the hibernating part of winter. I still stay inside for the most part, but I'm not craving that dark, cozy part of fall and winter that I love. I will still hibernate a little bit more, but the changes of seasons will be coming before I realize it. Time goes by so quickly, even as days move slowly at times.

I've booked myself another vacation with the same company I used when I went to Egypt. Just Canada this time, but we'll be riding a train for a few days through the Canadian Rockies. It's not something I would have planned for myself and the trip is only a week. I think it will be fun. While there are some things I definitely enjoy doing by myself, I'm not sure that long distance travel is one of them. And that's ok. 

Snowy Afternoon

Well, today has been a lazy day. Actually, the whole week has been lazy. I went to work, of course, but the rest of the time I’ve been hibernating. We’ve had snow off and on and I love it when I don’t have to drive in it. So I’ve stayed home a bit and yesterday I stocked up on a few groceries and fill my car with gas. 

I’ve been reading. Six books in 12 days so far this month. I won’t keep up that pace, but for now, I’m not all that interested in watching tv and since I’m not spending money, I don’t have that much to do indoors. I’ve cooked plenty, made and froze cookie dough, made wassail, put together a puzzle, practiced the piano, hmmm that might be all. LOL I guess I have some crafty type things I could work on. Or I can read. It’s been nice to sit in my library and drink my wassail and just enjoy the snowfall. 

Welcome 2024

Happy New Year! No idea what 2024 will bring but whatever. I just roll with it until I don’t. 

I spent a bunch of last week being productive and cleaned out and sorted places in my house. Some of the places I haven’t thought about for years and I could tell. I donated a bunch of stuff and then put some in the trash. It felt really good. I’d like to keep up the momentum for a while.

So I’ve said before that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions and I’m not changing that but I’d like to work on accumulating less stuff this year. Now that I’ve gotten rid of some stuff I didn’t need, I’d like to not bring in more stuff. So I need to think before I buy, and that includes books (hello, library card). I know I’ll have to make an effort because I have some bad habits, but it will be worth it. I’m not trying to go minimalist, but I don’t want to fill up my house either. Birthday shopping month might be hard lol, but maybe I can go somewhere instead of buying myself presents.

Anyway, that’s the plan. I probably won’t be perfect, but I am a work in progress, after all.