Happy Halloween

It's kind of gloomy and cold outside so it's kind of a great day for Halloween. It's not my favorite holiday, but I don't mind it. I stay away from the scary parts and have fun with the cozy parts. I think tonight I'm going to bake something with pumpkin while I read and watch old movies. I don't get tons of trick or treaters but I do get some and I don't mind giving out candy either. I have a pumpkin on my t-shirt and come candy corn earrings in and that's as dressed up as I ever get. We carved pumpkins the other night. Mine is the skeleton in jail. I kept it simple this year. LOL  I'm ready for the cozy part of fall and so happy that it's finally here. 

Election Anxiety

This is so crazy but the election and news about the election is giving me major anxiety. I fully realize that people on both sides of the candidates are probably feeling the same things, even though it's unreal to me how that happens. In the grand scheme of things, this election probably doesn't matter much at all. And at the risk of sounding like the older generation that drives me crazy when they say things like this, I can definitely see some parallels from this time to the scriptures.  But I have already voted and have received the notification that my vote was received and counted. And I'm going to look around me and do what I can in my actual sphere of influence. And that has to be good enough right now. I am very carefully picking what kind of news I'm getting and what kind of social media I'm consuming. I figure if I don't know what's happening in the world the next 8 days, it will be ok. 

Last night at family dinner we all put our phones on the table to see who would crack first and need to pick up their phone. We ended up putting them in a box (the 5 year old did it so we didn't touch them) and used the table to play card games. I had a really fun time. And those who weren't playing cards were running around outside with the younger kids. It was really good for us. The 20 year old cracked first, but all of us were having the impulses to check the phones, either to google something, or if notifications came through. We really ought to do that every family dinner. 

Tonight we are carving pumpkins to get ready for Halloween. Then the rest of the week when I'm not at work, I think it's going to be self care week. Do things around my home or neighborhood that feel good. Smile at people at the grocery store, that kind of thing. And I'm going to read books that make me happy. It supposed to get cold, so I'm going to get cozy. 

Next week on actual election day/night, I won't be home and I have plans for the evening so I will tune it out even longer. No matter what happens, it's not the end of the world, no matter what my anxiety is telling me. 

Rollercoaster

I got frustrated at work this week and it kind of dumped me back down to the bottom of the roller coaster with my emotions and now I’m kind of in the dumps again and tiny things are making me tear up. I write it here to process through my feelings. It wasn’t just work; I could kind of tell it was coming. Maybe I was just a little bit moodier than normal? I don’t know for sure. 

It’s ok. I’m giving myself space but also trying not to just sit around feeling bad. We have 2 funerals in my ward this weekend so I signed up to make funeral potatoes for one of them. Then I checked the list yesterday and they still needed some cakes so I signed up for a cake as well. I’ll be running them over to the church in about an hour. It does feel good to do some service. I learned a new song for primary. We have the primary program coming up in a few weeks and playing the piano for them is something I love. 

So I’m ok, I really am. And it’s ok if I want to take a day to feel down in the dumps. Right now, I can’t decide if I want to sit around and read or watch movies tonight or if I’d rather clean my bathroom. Both would probably make me feel good. Tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day so I’ve promised myself I will make an effort to get out and walk. Enjoy some nature and this beautiful fall season. 

This is the right way for me to deal with everything and if it starts to feel wrong or not working, I'll move on to something else until I finally get to a point where it doesn't derail me. 

 

Finally, October

Our cold front came in and it finally feels like fall. It’s 66 degrees in my house so I’m baking a frozen pot pie for dinner. LOL I don’t know why but the first time it gets cold in the house, I don’t like to turn the heat on. I’m wrapped up in blankets and having the oven on will warm it up. I slept really well last night with the window cracked and I was buried under the blankets. I love it. 

I went to my uncle’s funeral on Wednesday and it just got me sad again. So I’ve been feeling a little bit down and getting teary at odd moments. Today was a good day though. My sister and I took the twins to the Treehouse Museum to play for a couple hours this morning. Then we went to lunch. We tried a new Thai place on 25th street that serves pho. It was a good pho so now we have a good place in town to get it again.  Then we drove out to a fruit stand on the highway to buy pumpkins. I figured it was kind of like going to a pumpkin patch? LOL But the kids had fun and got to choose their own this year. So now I’ve got my pumpkin. 

So all in all a good fall break and I’ve still got the weekend ahead. And now it’s starting to get dark so I’ve got some comfort lighting on and a fake fireplace on the tv. I’m just going to have a cozy night tonight. I’ve been waiting for this weather all month so I’m going to enjoy all I can. 

Random Life

I took time off this week to have “fall break” with my sister and the twins and then we decided not to go anywhere. I’m still taking the time off and we’ll go have fun around town. I’m happy with that decision. It’s actually supposed to get cold and rainy on my 2 days off so I’m finally getting what I’ve been asking for. Ha ha  I will make sure I have some time for 1 or 2 of my rainy day projects as well. Last night after family dinner we walked to a park and enjoyed being outdoors. It was a really glorious evening. I’ve nothing to complain about. I was happy with the way my dessert turned out. The kids thought it was fun.

After years of streaming tv and just paying the subscriptions, I’m finally taking a look at the money I’m spending for the value. The channel I watch the most is YouTube because I stream a lot of ambient noise/music. Most of the time, the ads there don’t annoy me enough to stop. So I’ve canceled or will be canceling most of my subscriptions. 

I decided to keep Amazon prime because I do use it and so far their ads are doable and not super annoying. I donated enough money to PBS to get their full streaming services. I feel like that’s doing a good thing and will satisfy my documentary wants. 

I canceled CrunchyRoll and AppleTV (it was a free couple months from my new phone which I then forgot to cancel). And in November I will be canceling Disney+ and Netflix when those expire. I watched a movie the other night on Netflix and they showed an ad every 13 minutes. It was way too much for me and I don’t get enough value to bump up to the non-ad version. 

Who knows, with the money I’m saving, maybe I’ll bump up my YouTube to premium and have the place I stream most be ad free? Something to consider.

 

Busy Week

I did have a nice, relaxing weekend. I barely left my house and listened to every session of general conference while I cleaned, cooked, or did puzzles. I also finished a craft and pulled weeds in my flower bed and started to get it ready for winter. 

Winter....ha ha it doesn't even feel that much like fall. We are still hitting the 80s. It is quite cool some mornings, and it's definitely getting dark much earlier. I really enjoyed being home to watch the shadows from the sun in my backyard. They come earlier and are just so much softer than in the summer. 

I've been waiting for a nice rainy day to read something for Fall/Halloween and do a reshelving project in my library on a day when I want to be inside. I've read like 5 non-fiction books in a row now. That's not exactly normal for me, but it's what I've been in the mood for, I guess. I also haven't really had any Halloween movies on. Ha ha I'm not that far into October so I don't know why it's getting to me. I guess what I really want to do is hibernate, and instead I've been doing other things. I have a busy 2 weeks ahead of me and will be getting out and about a lot. I guess that's good as well. I know the dark days are coming so I should get out while I can enjoy the nice weather. 

I did get my split bead wreath finished. I'm very happy with the way it turned out, even though I spent waaaayyyyy too much money on it. I started out with a different set of floral items to put on it. And they would have looked really good as well, but I soon found that they were very bulky and the dried stems broke off very easily and made a mess. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to store it. So it was back to the store to find something else. Now to work on all the other craft/projects I've already paid for. LOL

October 4th

It would have been my mom's birthday today. 76 years. I'm a little weepy today, that's for sure. And it's ok, I'm allowed to have my feelings today. I think I've been having them all week actually, because I have bought so many things: new shirts, more air plants, perfume, and a puzzle. I most definitely did not need any of that and now it has to stop!

I've got a list of things I need to get done for work, and then I think I'm signing off. I have vacation available and if I get my job done, nobody cares if I leave early.

I got my Halloween decorations out. All 4 of them. Ha ha...  The 4th is this cat on a wooden plate. My mom made it when I was young and it's been part of Halloween my whole life. When we cleaned out her house, I just couldn't see it going to a thrift store, even though I have no use for it. So it's sitting on my table. If I decide to put candy on it, it will have to be the kind I don't like, otherwise I will eat it. 

It's conference weekend and I'm looking forward to a more relaxed few days to be at home and just enjoy this time of year. I've got some projects and things to work on while I listen to conference. I'll get through today and things will be fine.