Maybe it’s Fall?

I spent the last week in North Carolina for work. They got hit with the remnants of a hurricane right after I was leaving. Well, we had rain all that day but the biggest rain came after my flight left. The same thing happened when I was in NC in August. Hurricane hit around go-home day. I’m very grateful that both times I was able to get home. I have one more trip later this year and I’m really hoping it doesn’t happen a 3rd time. 

Of course it’s been 90 degrees here at home. Weird. The funny thing is that it’s cooler at night and so my house cools off more and the air conditioning is rarely on. Funny how this 90 feels cooler than 90 in July. 

It’s my turn to host family dinner and since it’s so nice and sunny outside, we are going to a park. My family really doesn’t fit in my house very well so I’m actually glad we have more time outside. Of course the kids don’t really eat when they are playing outside so today we are doing “finger foods” and will have sandwiches on rolls along with fruits and veggies and cheese and that kind of thing. Keep it easy. 

Yesterday would have been my dad’s 80th birthday. And mom’s 76th would have been next Friday. We are going to Maddox as a family for dinner next week to celebrate. I guess I’m back on one of the “hills” of this crazy roller coaster because I’m feeling ok. I miss both of them, but more in the happy memories way instead of the sad grieving way. 

Beautiful Day

It’s been such nice weather. My sister and I and the twins got out for a short walk the other evening. The leaves on the mountain trees are starting to change colors. 

Today I went with sisters and some of the kids to Vintage Market Days in Cache Valley. We’ve been a few times before. It’s kind of fun to look around. I bought some cinnamon and sugar dried apples which are very tasty. I also found some cute tea cups and I bought 2 of them. On the way home I got a few new succulents to put in them. If they die, I’ll replace them with air plants. But for now, I have some new additions to my library shelves. 

It was a really nice day to drive through Sardine canyon. The leaves are definitely changing up at that elevation. Plus it was a great temperature for walking around outside. That’s a good thing because I have 2 more miles to go to hit my 75 mile walking challenge and my time period ends tomorrow. I was going to wait until a little later this evening but I think I might put a little sunscreen on and go right now. I only have to walk a mile one way and then back home. I’ve got this!

Here it Comes!

I absolutely love that I can tell that the sun is setting earlier. The shadows outside my kitchen window are in a different place as I eat dinner. We’ve had our first taste of fall temperatures this week when it dropped into the 70s. My nephew and I volunteered to pick peaches at the church orchard yesterday evening and I could wear a long sleeve shirt for peach fuzz protection and I didn’t sweat. It was so nice. Today, I got home from work and my house was cool enough that the air conditioning hasn’t been on at all. 

I’ve got a lot I want to get done this weekend, plus laundry and all that fun stuff around the house. It’s been a long week but I’m feeling pretty good mentally and emotionally. 

Peach Days Weekend

It was Peach Days this weekend and my last big summer weekend of the year. I know I said I was going to try to not wish my life away, but I’m tired of the heat and want it to be dark and cold. LOL 

I did have a good weekend. I met up with some family on Friday right after work and we managed to snag an outdoor table at the Maddox drive in so I got a turkey burger, fries and a Dr. Pepper - my go to meal at the drive in. I haven’t had one since mom died because that was something we liked to do together. So it was fun to do with family. Then we went to the carnival and the kids got to go on rides. I didn’t stay long but I got my bag of cotton candy to share. That stuff is kind of gross, but I love to have a couple bites of it every year anyway. 

Saturday I stopped at a new donut place in town and got a dozen donuts to take up to my sister’s house. We met up there to go to the parade. Since none of us live in Brigham any more, hers is the closest to park and carpool. The parade was fine and was only just over an hour, I think. My niece was in it this year so we had to cheer for her when she passed by and she pretended she didn’t hear us. Ha ha.

Then we wandered around a bit before we had to get back to Anna’s so we could go to a family reunion. My aunt June missed mom’s funeral because of a surgery and her and my uncle Sonny were out here. It was nice to see family when we were not at a funeral. 

So a long day, even though it was fun. I was thoroughly hot and sweaty most of the day and felt nasty when I finally made it home. I took a shower and watched movies on my couch last night. And today it’s just been church and maybe later some food prep and dishes. Taking it easy for the most part. 

So a really good weekend with some family time. I’m just really ready for some cooler temperatures and to start feeling like it’s fall. And this year I’ve kind of said whatever and I think I’m just going to do fall earlier than normal. I’ve seen people with pumpkins and fall decorations up and I might be getting some of mine out early as well. I’m going to start my fall reading and movie watching as well. I’ll just have an extra couple weeks of it and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like I have that many decorations to begin with. 

Labor Day 2024

I had a really nice Labor Day weekend. I spent some time with my sister and the twins on Saturday. We went to the park and the the little zoo in Logan and then to Gossner's cheese factory. I like to buy some discount cheese for soups for the winter.  

We moved our family dinner to Monday and had a BBQ for lunch. Amy and I did Dutch oven cobber and cherry chocolate cake and they turned out very yummy. The kids played outside on a blow up water slide and it was just a really nice day. Too hot, but otherwise very nice. Very summery. :)

The Next Day

I worked late yesterday and on my way home stopped by the grocery store for some flowers, which I took to the cemetery. They are probably dead today, but whatever. I had a few tears and put the flowers in the vases on both sides of the headstone and left. Got fast food on the drive home and came home and did nothing again. Except clean my kitchen floor, and that's only because I dropped a glass and it broke. 

I didn't sleep well last night, but oddly enough, except for being tired I feel better than I did yesterday. I got up and got to work and my dentist appointment on time and then had a bunch of meetings and worked from home. I ate a healthy dinner and that alone is making me feel tons better. It really is true that good eating and some exercise really help both mental and physical health. Too bad I don't do them more often. 

When the temperatures dipped into the 70s on Sunday, I started wanting soup. So today I made 3 bean chili. I added bell peppers to it. It was ok, not sure if I'd make it again, but I have leftovers I will finish up. So soup making started early this year, but that's my favorite thing to make so why not? 

Anyway, I'm feeling better today. Able to cope and know I'm ok. I didn't have any caffeine either so hopefully I'll sleep tonight. It seems like letting myself have a few days to have some feelings and be late for work worked out ok. I know it won't be the last time because it comes in waves and that's ok too. 

Dealing with Grief

So all my summer fun is over. And to be sure, I am very much looking forward to fall, even though I’m a bit unsure about the holidays this year. But last week was very unproductive and I was definitely calling myself lazy. But I consoled myself that I was still getting up for work. And then today happened. I was almost 30 minutes late for work because I didn’t want to get out of bed. I mean, sure I could have worked from home. But I wanted to be in the office for the work I had to do and that was what I had planned on.

I’m pretty sure I’m just dealing with grief or depression caused by grief. I’m just feeling kind of sad. I don’t feel like it’s bad enough to have to get help yet. But I’m also not sure if I’ll know how to recognize if/when that time comes. I’m just typing out my feelings because I know it helps, and I don’t want to write them longhand in my paper journal. 😊

I’m still getting out a bit. I went to the library book sale on Saturday. My sister and I and the twins had a nice walk on Sunday. I guess today I just need to let myself feel all the things. Start again tomorrow. Tomorrow I do have to get out of bed because I go to the dentist first thing. So there’s that.

I think I will try and get another walk in. I still have 11 miles to go to finish my walking goal for the summer and 3 weeks left to do it, so I’m still on track. So walking will help.

I should find something besides just “fall” to look forward to. I’ll have to think about that for a bit.