Walking

My sister talked me into joining a walking challenge for the summer, actually April - September. I have to walk or hike 3 miles a week, 75 miles total. If the weather is bad I can do indoor walking or other exercise but part of the goal is to actually be outside. As of right now I’m caught up and right on target, and 3 miles is not hard, but you have to be making time for it constantly. I got sick one week and got behind for a couple weeks. I’ve completed 26 miles so far. Kind of crazy to think of how they add up. 

I do feel better and am sleeping better. Not every night is great, but I’m having fewer sleepless nights. One thing I’ve really enjoyed though is getting out without my earbuds in. Instead of music or a podcast, I’m listening to the river or the birds and in my own thoughts. I’m not sure I’d want to do that for long distances, but for the mile or so I’ve been walking at a time I kind of like it. 

Now it’s getting warm though. I’m not sure how I’m going to fare through the summer. There will be fewer days walking on my lunch break. My plan is to get up and walk before work on the days I’m working from home. I actually did it this morning. I can’t say I super enjoyed it, but there are positives. The biggest one is that I’m done already and don’t have to worry about walking later. The parkway has fewer people on it and I like that. It’s cooler. With the canyon breeze in the morning, it smells like camping, which is something I love. So maybe it’s not so bad. In June, I want to try turning one of the days of walking into hiking and get out on some of the easy trails near me. Saturday is June 1. I wonder if I can get myself up and out there in the morning?

 

Memorial Day 2024

It’s been a nice holiday weekend. I was really lazy on Saturday and staying in bed reading for a while before I finally got up. It was raining so I was at peace with that decision.  Yesterday we had family dinner  at my brother’s house and I sat on the grass blowing bubbles for a bit. I don’t care how old I get, I’m always happy to blow bubbles. Before that I drove up to the Wellsville cemetery to drop some flowers off at my grandma’s grave. It’s such a beautiful drive right now. The green mountains and snow still on the peaks. 

Today we met up at the Brigham cemetery as a family and walked around putting the flowers down. We had promised my mom long before she was gone that we would continue the tradition for her. I got a new phone and the list was one thing I forgot to back up so I had to make it again from memory and I swear I missed someone, but as we walked around I didn’t notice anyone that we didn’t have flowers for. We arrived at almost the same time as some other family and it was nice to see them there. It’s really a glorious day. If summer stayed like this, I wouldn’t mind it so much. I guess it’s technically still spring but most of the kids are out of school and Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer. 

I’m inside now for some housework but may run an errand and go for a walk later this evening when the sun is a little lower. Forgot to put sunscreen on my part and my head is a tiny bit red. I just sunburn so easily. 

Roadtrip!

I spent the weekend on a mini road trip with my sister and her 4 year old twins. And her dog. 

We drove down south and stayed at a hotel in Richfield. It wasn't expensive and had an indoor swimming pool. I'm not a -sit by the pool- type of person. For one thing, I don't like to sit in the sun because I burn so easily. And I'd rather read indoors. But I do find it very relaxing to play in the pool once in a while. So we took the twins to the pool both Friday and Saturday nights and it was a lot of fun. 

On Saturday, we spent the day at Capitol Reef National Park. It wasn't too crowded and I had not been there since I was a kid. I loved it. 

Plus, I really love looking at the wildflowers. 

We managed a small hike before the rain started. We were going to tough out the rain, but it lightening and thundered once and the kids were kind of done and I don't blame them. It was still such a nice little hike. 

We stopped at Fish Lake and Pando on the way back to the hotel so that's another bucket list item checked off - Pando, not Fish Lake. 

Of course, the drive home took forever and we had to stop a bunch of times for bathroom breaks but I still had a great time, even if I was happy to sleep in my own bed again. 

Sold!

We finally have officially sold mom’s house. We ended up canceling the contract we had because the buyer wanted things we were not willing to do. Then last week sometime my realtor contacted me to ask if we would sell as is for a lower price and the buyer would do all the repairs. So we said yes. We updated the new contract with new disclosures and today we transferred the title. I hope that’s the last of it.  I have to cancel the utilities and insurance tomorrow but then we wait for probate to run out and pay off the debts. It’s been a lot of work to get to this point.

Half of my dining room table is actually covered with mom’s containers of papers. I need to go through them but I just don’t want to do it right now. Maybe this summer when it’s too hot to go outside? Or whenever I decide I want my table back. 

Dealing with All the Feelings

Grief is a weird thing. Maybe it just comes in waves? I’m not all surprised that I can be happy and sad at the same time but whatever I thought I might go through when my mom died, I’m pretty sure this is not it. And I know I had some hard times dealing with my dad’s death, but I don’t remember them so much as now I just miss him. 

The last 2 weeks have been hard on me. We got the house emptied and put up for sale and had 2 offers within 24 hours. The inspection came back with a lot of things wrong. On one hand that’s what the inspector is supposed to do and it’s an old house so of course there are repairs needed. On the other hand, there is some water damage, mold, and a leak under the house that we have to repair. These were unexpected but are not crazy repairs and of course we won’t sell it with mold growing under there. But what would normally be something I let roll off and just take in stride felt absolutely devastating to me. And since then every single thing has just been too much for me to handle without wanting to have a good cry first. I know this will pass but I’m not sure how to deal with it in the meantime. 

We have a plan for the house. The buyer actually wanted a lot of repairs besides the ones we are willing to do. We have a counter offer out to her. At this point I might feel better if she says no and we have a little time to get a few things fixed before we list again. We are definitely not going to fix everything. It’s going to sell “as is” with a few repairs. 

I have a plan for myself this weekend too so I don’t just sit around and mope. It’s not the sadness that bothers me but the lack of emotional resilience I’m showing right now. Part of the plan includes a walk and getting outside a little bit - I got sick this week and am finally feeling like moving again. Then I’ve got a few things to work on. A few more things can be organized or cleaned out. I might even want to take flowers up to mom and dad’s grave. I haven’t been there since the funeral, because that’s not really where I feel a connection to them. But it might be nice. 

I will admit that I am actively avoiding Mother’s Day. I feel no shame in this. I can’t even celebrate my sisters being moms and I’m not going to try. The year at least, there is no making the best of it. I have to be at church a bit to fulfill my obligations but I don’t have to listen to any of the speakers. I’ll either be out in the foyer or behind the organ reading my scriptures or the Ensign while people talk. That’s the way I’m coping this year. 

Happy Spring

Spring has finally arrived! The tulips and daffodils are up and I have pansies blooming from last year along with my yellow primrose. I cleaned out my flower bed and it’s ready for some spring planting. It will still be a few weeks before I get to it, but it’s coming. 

I also took a couple evenings this week and cleaned out my garage. It feels soooooo good to have that done. I had so much junk in there. I still have things to throw away and boxes to break down but my garbage can was filled. So over the next week or 2 I’ll get rid of the rest of the small things that should have been thrown away years ago. I did not even remember that I own 2 dutch ovens. I must have taken one from my mom’s house about 10 years ago when we cleaned it out when they moved, but I don’t have any idea where the second one came from. It’s still in its original box. Ha ha it’s not like I use them. You can cook with them in the oven though so maybe I’ll try some of that next fall/winter. 

We have one last weekend at my mom’s house. Saturday night it will be empty and clean and ready to sell. We’ve met with the realtor and she will have it listed shortly. We’re a long way from closing out the estate, but selling the house and car will be big steps. Sometimes I feel like I’m still in shock and can’t believe she’s gone. It’s a weird feeling. 

Reading Blues

When this year started, I had some high hopes for reading some of the bigger books on my shelf and was looking forward to where the mood would take me. Well, the mood has taken me to re-reading old favorites instead of new stuff. With everything else that’s going on, I’m just not in the mood to start new books. I only read 3 new to me books in March and one of them was a novella with only 87 pages. 

Ha ha ha I had put only 24 books in my Goodreads reading challenge because I didn’t want any pressure from numbers and it looks like that’s a good thing. I had a great January so I’m still at 15 books read, which is still one book a week on average and still better than what a lot of people read in a year. Plus, the fact is that I am reading and sometimes I’m reading a lot. It’s just not full books or new books.

I am a little antsy about it though because my brain knows this really isn’t normal, even though I know it won’t last. I just can’t settle on what book to read. Hmmm maybe I’ll just watch some k-dramas instead.