Stressed

I had a fantastic Monday off work. It was a beautiful morning for a walk. The rest of the day was nice and relaxing as well. 

Then Tuesday and back to work came. I was fine most of the day. My supervisor had tried to help with some of the onboarding tickets coming in, which was really great of her. But by afternoon, I was so tired of all the stupid things people keep doing and the issues that I don’t know how to fix. I had a little mini melt down. Luckily, I was working from home today. I seriously need to take some deep breaths and just walk away or something when I start spiraling. It was almost the end of the day anyway, so I shut my computer down and started cleaning my house and then I made dinner, did the dishes, and just generally got my house in order. If feels good to have done that. And then before I came upstairs to get ready for bed, I did a quick calming yoga session and just breathed in and out and stretched my neck and back. Both are so tight right now. 

So I think I’m going to do this one day at a time. Tomorrow I will take some deep breaths and deal with the tickets on my own time and terms. I can put myself on “do not disturb” for the whole day if I have to. And my sisters and I are already doing another walking challenge for the summer so I’m starting to get out again, but I think I’m going to add some yoga on the days I’m not walking. I need to do something else and I need the stretching. I need to take a few more breaks during the day to stand and stretch as well. 

All I know is that I can’t go on like this. It’s not good for my physical or mental health, but it’s also my job right now. I know it will get better. It’s just getting to that point. 

Good Friday

It’s Good Friday and Easter weekend. My company used to give this day as a holiday and until last year, my office still did. This year they gave us a floating holiday so I’m working, but it’s really, really slow. Lots of people are off. And oddly enough, I’m taking my holiday on Monday instead. We’ve just wrapped up a big project and a month of extra support after the go-live. I had originally planned on Monday off because I needed a break. I’m not as stressed about work right now, but decided to keep the day off. I should celebrate and recalibrate. 

I’ve been reading books from the library lately. It’s kind of nice. The library had a few of the books on my buy list so I borrowed them instead. Or put them on hold. If I love them, I can consider buying later. Checking the library first is a habit I need to work on, but I’m getting better at it. I have spent a little money lately on a few products that I already love. And I just bought myself 2 small bottles of perfume. I’m calling that my reward for making it through go-live. 

Actually, I’ve spent a bunch of money recently, but some of it will be repaid to me. My sisters and I have a trip planned to Cedar City this summer. We are going back to the Shakespeare Festival, but this year we’re taking an extra day and having some fun. Plus, with the amount of people going, we decided to rent an Airbnb. It’s going to be fun. I’m pretty excited about it. But I just bought the theater tickets. With the amount of people going to the theater, this year I bought the cheaper seats. We will still be able to see everything just fine. LOL I’m slowly learning to be frugal. I haven’t had to be frugal for so long that it’s a bit of a change. But just because I don’t have to be doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to be. 

I still miss mom a lot on the holidays but I’m learning that they can still be good, just not like they used to be.

 

Conference Weekend

It was a really nice weekend. I got out on Saturday for a bit with my niece and a few nephews. We went to the reptile expo and then to lunch. 

Then on Sunday I stayed home and listened to general conference and cooked. I've filled back up my freezer with leftovers for other meals. I also made cheesy no-knead peasant bread. I cooked it in a loaf pan because it's easier to cut. It is so delicious. I might have cut off both ends and eaten them first while it was still warm out of the oven. 

 

I'm going through a period where I don't really love my job. It's fine and I know it won't last forever, feeling this way. And I'm grateful to have a steady job that pays me well. Even when I do love my job, there are pieces that aren't my favorite. I'm just doing of lot of those pieces right now. It makes Mondays worse though. LOL I'm taking a little bit of time off on Wednesday afternoon and I'm going to recharge. Go for a walk and wash my car. Maybe head to the bookstore. 

And after listening to conference, I think... ha  ha no, I know.. I've let my oil run out, my lamp is too low... I don't know all the metaphors. I need to do something about that as well. 

Spring

Spring is here. I do love it. The trees are starting to turn green with tiny leaves and the grass has also started to green. The mornings and evenings are beautiful and the birds are singing. And I ask myself if they have to start singing so early on Saturday morning. :)

It's too early to plant flowers, but that will be coming as well. My flower bed even has some green growth in it. This year I want lots of color and a few more of my favorite coleus plants. Next week is supposed to be cooler and rainy so it truly does feel like spring. Ups and downs. I'm trying to enjoy it before it gets hot.  

Half of the family is leaving for spring break this weekend, so I've invited my brother and his family over for dinner. I've been missing mom and wanting some home cooking. I'm going to attempt a roast, potatoes, and rolls. I've even got some of her bottled green beans left. A Sunday dinner...I won't say just from my childhood since we've had it my whole life, but it feels nostalgic in a way. Hopefully, I don't ruin the roast. That's the only thing I've never really cooked before. 

Win

Man, last week was a little rough. Between the time change and a big project of mine going live, I just didn’t have much motivation to do anything else. I’m feeling better this week so far, although getting out of bed is still a challenge. I just really prefer slow mornings. I switched my bedding out and instead of winter bedding, it’s more for spring. Of course it’s snowing outside right now. Gotta love it. But the texture and weight of my sheets and blankets changed and it bothered me. I made some slight adjustments last night and I think it helped. Or I’m adjusting. I got some sleep, at least. 

I figured out a way to repurpose some of the cloth face masks I bought during covid into napkins. Kind of happy with myself about that. I can use them just for the everyday and wash them. Not that I’m getting rid of paper napkins completely. Those will still be around for family dinners and such. But I do use napkins and I have a lot of cloth masks sitting around. So now I have 10 small cloth napkins to use. If I also train myself to grab one of those instead of a paper towel for certain things, it might be a while before I have to buy more napkins or paper towels. I call that a win!

 

Fun Saturday

A while back my nephew asked if I would take him and his sister to see Prince of Egypt at the Hale Center Theater and of course I said yes. We went yesterday to the matinee. They got to my house a bit early so we got down there and went into the biggest Barnes and Noble I’ve ever been in. It’s not too far from the theater and I had no idea it was there. Not that I get down that way very often, but it was fun to see. 

The play was good and I always love how they put on a show in a round theater. It won’t ever be a favorite but still I had a good time. I’m pretty much always up for local theater. After, we went to The Cheesecake Factory for a late lunch/early dinner. I haven’t been to that mall or that restaurant in years. I was amazed at how busy it was. I guess people still do go to some malls? I’m also amazed at how busy that restaurant always is. I mean it’s good, but not the best and it’s expensive. It was a special occasion so I had no problems with going. We all got a specialty drink plus cheesecake so the bill was high. Again, a special occasion but I’m glad that I’m making the effort to save and waste less. It feels good. 

I got to bed at a decent time, but it was the time change so of course I’m dragging today. It’s going to be a lazy Sunday and will hopefully include a nap!

Less

So I’ve been trying to see where and what I’m wasting so that I can make less waste. Sometimes it’s pretty clear and sometimes I just buy a thing in a huge plastic container without even thinking about it because it was convenient - looking at you, chocolate muffins. I’ve been expanding that into saving money as well. Last fall, I cut back on some subscriptions for tv and I honestly haven’t missed them much. I very much enjoy having ad-free YouTube, which I use almost exclusively for ambient noise or music. I’ve started getting used to the Roku channel with its ads when I want some background noise or just to veg a bit. I’ve also looked at a few other channels who stream k-dramas with ads. Haven’t found a match there yet, but barely started looking. Prime will get canceled this year. I don’t need it. 

There have been some people trying to do economic blackouts for big companies that have done various things. I’ve chosen to focus mostly on those who decided DEI wasn’t a good thing. I was really grateful that my company announced they were keeping their program going. I’ve never liked Walmart so it’s not a problem to not shop there. Target is the one that hurts. I’m still trying to figure out where to get a few things if I can’t get them at Target, or Amazon. I have no delusions that my losing my little money will make any difference to the big companies. But this has made me look at what I have in my house and use it instead. It comes back to the less waste thing and more money saved. And even though it hurts to say this, I probably don’t need to buy the book either. LOL So basically, I’m trying to shop local (been shopping a local grocery store for years) and ask myself if I really need the thing. I’m not saying I will never shop at Target or Amazon again, but it will be fewer things I buy at those places and mostly just the things I really can’t find elsewhere. 

I’m still working on what to do about my Kindle. I have over 1000 books on there, I think. And some of the authors I want to support are there and on Kindle Unlimited. Maybe I try canceling KU for a month first just to see. I’ve got plenty of books I haven’t read in both electronic and paper forms. I can do what I am doing with streaming services and buy a month at a time and only pay when I want to use it. Like everything, it’s a work in progress and I’m not looking for perfection, just something I can sustain long term.